Raising Confident Children

Maltz Maxwell writes that confidence is build upon an experience of success.

When we first begin any undertaking, we are likely to have little confidence, because we have not learned from experience that we can succeed.

It doesn't matter how many times you have failed in the past. What matters is the successful attempt, which should be remembered, reinforced, and dwelled upon.

"HELP YOUR KIDS REMEMBER THEIR SUCCESSES HOWEVER SMALL, AND THEIR CONFIDENCE WILL SOAR."

To many people let failures blot out all good memories. We must look at failure, learn from it, and then dismiss it completely.

"HOW CAN A CHILD WHO GETS YELLED AT EVERY TIME THEY FAIL, NOT VIVIDLY REMEMBER THE FAILURE, THUS DISTROYING THEIR CONFIDENCE."

Dr. Overholser recommends the practice of vividly remembering our past successes and brave moments as an invaluable aid whenever self-confidence is shaken.

Many people shy away from healthy self acceptance because they insist upon identifying themselves with their mistakes. You may have made a mistake but this does not mean that you are a mistake.

"WE CAN HELP OUR CHILDREN WORK THROUGH THEIR FAILURES AND ALSO REMIND THEM OF THEIR SUCCESSES, THEIR CONFIDENCE LEVEL IS UP TO US."

God Bless
Andrew Miller

Your Self is Steaming

According to Maltz Maxwell, we simply must get it through our heads that holding a low opinion of ourselves is not a virtue, but a vice. Jealousy, for example, which is the scourge of many a marriage, is nearly always caused by self doubt. The person with adequate self-esteem doesn't feel hostile towards others, he isn't out to prove anything, he can see facts more clearly isn't as demanding in his claims against other people.

The word "esteem" literally means to appreciate the worth of.

Why do men stand in awe of the stars and the moon, the immensity of the sea, the beauty of a flower or a sunset, and at the same time downgrade themselves? Did not the same creator make man? Is not man himself the most marvelous creation of all?

This appreciation of your own worth is not egotism unless you assume that you made yourself and should take some of the credit.

Do not downgrade the product merely because you haven't used it correctly. Don't childishly blame the product for your own errors like the schoolboy who said, "this typewriter can't spell."

But the biggest secret of self esteem is this:Begin to appreciate other people more; Show respect for any human being merely because he is a child of God and therefore a "thing of value."

Stop and think when you are dealing with people. You're dealing with a unique, individual creation of the Creator of all.

Practice treating other people as if they had some value - and surprisingly enough your own self esteem will go up. For real self esteem is not derived from the great things you have done, the things you own, the mark you've made -  but in appreciation of yourself for what you are - a child of God.

When you come to this realization however, you must necessarily conclude that all other people are to be appreciate for the same reason.